ANMR Magazine Bytesize
Keep On Keeping On Mama | Praying For Our Children This Friday!
I’m not exactly the clingy type. I think it’s how I was raised. I never saw my Mum cry and we weren’t a very touchy-feely-huggy family. There was no lack of ‘personal space’. Fast forward to meeting my husband whose love language is physical touch. The irony. Fast forward again to the birth of my daughter who is very much like her father. A velcro baby. If I’m being honest, as someone who loves her personal space, there were times I felt like I was being punished by my daughter’s ‘clingyness’. I would envy mothers who made contact napping and baby wearing seem like this euphoric thing. I was happy for them that they seemed to love it but felt there was something wrong with me because I just didn’t feel the same. Of course I loved the snuggles and cuddles but I also craved breaks and at the time, it was me and only me my daughter wanted 99% of the time.
It took awhile but I eventually surrendered to it, allowed myself to slow down and lean into this velcro lifestyle. I still craved breaks especially on Sundays when I would have to sit with her in children’s church for the service. It felt pointless going to church sometimes when I wouldn’t even get to sit in the main service but I knew the routine was good for her, so I persevered. I was comforted here and there by posts from others mothers who had velcro babies that had grown into confident and independent children. Reading about it being a secure attachment was also comforting, although still exhausting for me. When she started school, I thought it would ease up a bit but it didn’t. I embraced it as much as I could while trying not to neglect my son who was not as needy, but I know still needed attention.
At some point I noticed that she seemed happier to leave me for children’s church with one of the older teachers. Although it didn’t happen immediately but it happened overtime. He became her favourite and when He was in church I knew I would get some ‘time off’. When He wasn’t in church, her Dad would sit with her in children’s c church then duck out when play time started. On a recent Sunday she seemed hesitant to go with any of the teachers and her ‘fave’ was not in church, so I proceeded to take her to children’s church. As I took her down in the elevator and we got downstairs, she let go of my hand and walked confidently, ahead of all the kids, not looking back, to her class. I stood watching her go and all I could think in the moment was …. “WOW”,. From that day on, she has willingly gone to children’s church, without as much as a glance back. Why does it hurt a little?!
We started language classes on Saturdays and one of the reasons we joined this program was because they provide childcare for parents. I was so worried my daughter would refuse to go with her carers and be stuck to my hip for the whole class. Before hand, I prayed about it. To my greatest surprise, she happily went with the carers. It was my more independent son who ran after us and after some coaxing, eventually agreed to stay with the carers. I was shocked, to say the least. She is still my velcro baby though. At home she loves being carried and she loves cuddling with me and hugging me for no reason and I love it too. But when we leave home, she has blossomed into a confident toddler who is sure her Mama will always be there even if she’s not with her. It bring tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I shared this story, to end with this —
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9
Need I say more?
xoxo
Jemima
Editor of A New Mums Room Magazine
We will be praying for our children and future children on Friday and it will right here on Substack. If you’re a subscriber you will get the link to the video call in your inbox. See you on Friday, mamas/mamas to be!
📅 Friday 28th March | 4.30PM EST | 8.30PM GMT | 9.30PM WAT | On Substack
🙌 Prayers for Our Children & Future Children
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