Breastfeeding. I was amongst the many mothers-to-be who were clueless about breastfeeding. In my defense, I did do some research, but there’s nothing like hearing first-hand experience from those around you. I assumed breastfeeding would be straightforward and uncomplicated, which it can be, but for many women, it’s not.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful yet demanding journey. It can make or break you. Yes, I said it. I enjoyed breastfeeding after the initial stage when it was hard. Despite this, my breastfeeding journeys were short. But it’s an incredible feeling feeding your child, no matter how long you do it. You get to grow and learn with your child. You and your child are learning this new thing, so it’s okay if neither of you gets it right immediately.
With breastfeeding, there will be highs and lows. Most women start with the lows, but for the sake of this article and being the self-proclaimed ‘Minister of Encouragement’, that I am, I will start with the highs.
Embracing the Joys of Breastfeeding
The Unparalleled Bond: Breastfeeding creates a heartwarming bond between mother and baby. That moment of closeness is so sacred and unique. This isn’t to say there aren’t other ways to bond with your baby, but breastfeeding is a major one. Especially when you see the physical effects on your baby -
how she relaxes when she starts sucking;
how she cups or caresses your breast as she sucks;
how comforted she feels.
These feel-good effects are not just for the baby. When you breastfeed, you release prolactin and oxytocin, the happy and calming hormones. It’s a beautiful exchange of relaxation, warmth, and love.
Nature's Perfect Recipe: There’s a reason why breast milk is called Nature’s Perfect Recipe. It provides all the nutrients and antibodies your baby needs. It’s created specifically and perfectly for your child. One interesting thing about breastmilk is its ability to provide the nutrients the child needs at every developmental stage, from infancy to toddler. This is why mothers can do tandem nursing.
Moments of Prayer: A great time to pray is when you’re breastfeeding. Speak over the baby in your arms. If you have any other children, pray for them. Pray for your spouse also, and pray for yourself. Pray for other new mums as well. Prayer is a great way to fill that alone time with you and your baby while breastfeeding.
Navigating the Challenges of Breastfeeding
The Early Hurdles: For new mothers, breastfeeding isn’t always straightforward. It can be a steep learning curve. A friend of mine who is also a new mum thought all she had to do was pop her booby in her baby’s mouth. Unfortunately, this isn’t so. There are a few challenges a new mother may face when breastfeeding-
A shallow latch - If her baby has a shallow latch, one or two things may happen. The baby will struggle to feed i.e., suck the milk out/breastfeeding will be very painful.
Pain - In the early days, breastfeeding may be very painful. If the baby doesn’t latch properly and latches onto the nipple, this will cause a lot of pain. If the baby is latched properly, the baby’s mouth should be filled with the breast, and the nipple should be further down the baby’s throat. If the baby is always on the breast, the mother may end up with sore, cracked, or bleeding nipples. Nipple cream (a lot of it) or breastmilk on the nipples will help heal the nipples between feeds.
Ideally, if the baby is latching properly this shouldn’t happen but the mother’s nipples will be sore, in the beginning, from the constant sucking. Eventually, her nipples will harden and hurt less. Breastfeeding positions can also cause more or less pain, so it’s important to try different positions and see which one works best.
Establishing milk flow - It’s important for the baby to be on the breast as much as possible because the more she nurses, the more milk will be produced. Pumping can also do this if you need a break from breastfeeding, but you will have to pump every two hours to establish or increase your milk supply. Pumping frequently will imitate the feeding times of a newborn and tell your body it needs to produce milk. It’s also important to note that a breast pump is not as efficient as a newborn’s suckle in draining your breast of breast milk.
Discouragement - This is one of the main reasons new mothers give up on breastfeeding or switch to combi-feeding. A lot of the challenges listed above can lead to discouragement. Stress, not eating well, not drinking enough water, lack of sleep, anxiety, and other factors can cause a dip in milk supply, which can lead to more stress and anxiety because you’re concerned if your baby is getting enough milk. It can be a vicious cycle sometimes. If the mother doesn’t receive any guidance, encouragement, or support, she may give up on breastfeeding.
Oversupply - If you’re a new mama, an oversupply of milk may seem like a dream, but it’s not. If you have an oversupply of milk and a fast letdown, your baby may choke or be fussy during feeds. Your breasts may never feel empty, and they may get engorged. This may lead to mastitis. Over time, your supply will regulate itself, but avoid pumping regularly, which may worsen things. Instead, pump just a little. This should give you some relief.
Mastitis - This is an inflammation and sometimes infection of your breast and is quite common with breastfeeding mothers. It is painful but shouldn’t require medical treatment. It’s also important to keep breastfeeding from the affected breast.
Conversations on the physical realities of breastfeeding in our community (contributors are anonymous):
Q: Hey ladies! Did anyone on here ever experience clogged ducts or painful engorged breasts while you were breastfeeding? I’m pumping but that doesn’t seem to be relieving me.
A: Oh yes I did. Take a hot shower. Put a warm wet cloth on it. Don’t express a lot because the milk will keep coming out. Just a little. Also, take some painkillers.
A: Hi! I did and what often worked for me was putting a warm cloth on it or spending hours under hot showers and focusing it on the boobs.
A: I experienced this so many times. A warm shower and a warm towel helped me. Also, continuing to breastfeed from the affected breast is important. Too much pumping from the breast can make it worse apparently, so just gently expressing or breastfeeding is better. A few mums I know, swear by the cabbage remedy (putting a cabbage leaf on the breast for some hours). I never tried it but look into it for sure.
Triumphing Over Challenges
Seek Support: If your breastfeeding journey is overwhelming, seek support. I would recommend you seek support before you get overwhelmed, just to make sure that you are armed with info that can help you if you do get overwhelmed. Reach out to professionals, peers, and loved ones. Find the closest lactation consultant to you. Find a community of new mums you can share your fears and questions.
Create a Supportive Environment: I cannot further stress the importance of an understanding and supportive partner. A lot of new mothers pushed through discouragement because they had partners who cheered them on and encouraged them. If you’re like me, your partner may be the closest village you have for some time. It’s important also to have supportive family members and on the flip side, to shut out the noise. This may be challenging if you’re a first-time mum and you’re unsure which advice is helpful and which advice is not. If you work outside the home and you desire to continue breastfeeding when you go back to work, meaning you would have to pump, find out ahead what policies around that are like. I read online about a lady who had to pump at work and her workplace told her they would deduct the pumping time from her salary.
This is why I will continue to shout from the rooftops that ‘Every new mum deserves support.’ Not just from family and friends but from society as a whole.
Breastfeeding can take a toll on your mental health. The unpredictability of the journey can mess with your psyche. It’s important to surround yourself with love and support.
As much as possible, prioritize your well-being. Eat well (as much as is within your power) and drink lots of water. Find low-energy activities that boost your mood. It could be listening to a podcast, having a cup of tea or coffee while you take a breather, praying, or reading(more like skimming) through a blog, etc.
Advocate for yourself. Sometimes we may question why we need to do this in the first place. Sometimes you have no choice. Ask for what you need. Search for a community of like-minded mums e.g. New Mums Room and join.
Remember, new mama, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.