To the new mama who feels stretched beyond belief, you’re not alone. Recently I’ve been feeling really stretched. As my kids grow and need more than ‘care’ alone, I find I’m entering a phase of more mental and emotional stretching. Things like trying to understand and process my two-and-a-half-year-old’s feelings with him as he can’t verbally communicate properly yet. And do the same with a 14-month-old whose communication swings from adorable belly laughter to megaphone-type screaming. Definitely stretched. On the flip side I’m also having a lot of fun seeing my children’s personalities become more prominent and learning more about them. If I’m being honest I have more fun with them now and I find them much more entertaining and funny. Being stretched is one of the things I’ve always thought would break me but it has only increased my capacity to hold so much more love and grace.
Motherhood will birth a strength in you, you didn’t know existed. Mothers are God’s strongest soldiers, especially when considering that this role is for life. You don’t get to opt out or choose not to be a mother anymore. It’s for life and as beautiful as that is, it can also be a bit scary.
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
I hang on to this Scripture for dear life. This strength I speak of is not my strength. It is a strength I receive from God in exchange for my weakness. One of my favourite prayers - ‘Holy Spirit, help me.’
Motherhood is a reminder that I can do hard things and that is empowering. Painful but empowering. I’ve had to remind myself many times over that hard doesn’t equal bad. The contrast between hard and easy is needed in life. There is a version of you that hardship builds that soft life and constant ease could never. Sometimes you can’t romanticise the exhaustion, the tears, the stretching. You just have to grit your teeth and go through it. For me, all the times I’ve come through on the other side, I feel empowered and so doggone proud of myself. It’s also a reminder that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me because on the days I believe I have reached my limit, the goalpost moves again.
To the mama who feels like a different person, you’re not alone. I would encourage you to embrace it. Most of who I was before childbirth is pretty much gone and I struggled with that for a while but the more I surrender, the more I began to like this new me. I feel like before childbirth I was a beautiful flower yet to open properly. Now, I’m bolder, braver, more outspoken, less self-conscious. I was never a fan of kids before but after having my own, my heart is more open to them, not just mine. I’m more accommodating and more aware of them and their needs. I give room for them to just be, especially in public. I’m a hundred times more compassionate towards mums and people in general. I could go on and on but as a mum of two toddlers, these days I don’t recognize myself. To be honest, I would be surprised if I did.
The days are long but the years are short. I’ve heard this said in so many different ways. In the moment, it may not feel like it, it may feel like everything on God’s green earth is LONG, but it’s true. When I find myself scrolling through my phone and I come across older videos of my kids as babies and see how much they’ve grown, it’s not cliche. Time does fly. Reminding myself helps me remain present. Do I still wish the time would fly faster sometimes? Yes. But then I look at their cute little faces and imagine how these cute little cheeks will smoothen out and mature and I may not be needed for cuddles as much, I try to cherish the present moment and soak in all they currently are.
So, Mama, I hope you find some encouragement in these five reflections of mine. You were made for this and you got this.
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This was so delightful and relateable on so many levels. Motherhood absolutely changes us. And I actually love this new version of me that has been birthed alongside my child. And that’s a cause for celebration.
Thank you for writing this Jemima, it was so encouraging 🤎
🫂 you captured everything! you described all the feels! and i’m just reading through this and 😮💨 grateful in spite of the highs and the lows, God’s got us! and it’s really amazing who we become when we become mothers… you just become a different person and it’s so amazing